Chapter LXXXI: Loss

Jinxie felt wearier than she ever had before. Her physical strength had returned insofar as she could walk without falling over, but now her entire body wanted to simply shut down. The desire for sleep was overwhelming. She managed to stay on her feet, even managing a smile as a celebratory Imperial citizen appeared and shook her hand. The Hydra, she remembered. In Aht Urghan she was already considered a hero for her victory over the Hydra, and now she had helped them triumph over the beastmen. She was their foreign heroine, first slaying the giant monster and now rallying the citizens to turn back the invaders. Through bleary eyes, the Red Mage smiled and waved at people who whistled and cheered as she walked past. She shared their spirit, simply not the faculties to express it.

Order was gradually being restored. They had won victories over beastmen incursions in the past, though never against so many at once. Still, the Empire had proven its strength once again, and the Astral Candescence remained in the Hall of Binding. More than that, the leader of the Trolls, Gurfurlur the Menacing, had died in the attempt to take it. There was much cause to rejoice, but they were, after all, still soldiers. Slowly but surely they were remembering this, and slowly but surely the celebration was dying down. What protracted the post-victory joy was the great number of common citizens mingled in with the trained soldiers. Those men and women had chosen to pick up arms and defend their city, and it had worked. Their zeal carried on as the regular soldiers began to be corralled by their superiors.

However, if they were brought away from the cheers regarding victory, it was only so they could be ushered to cheer for a return.

Jinxie stopped in the middle of the road, turning her head to face the Hall of Binding. He was emerging now, from the spot of his terrible battle, and she could feel the waves of excitement building. Everyone from the lowest rank-and-file to the Serpent Generals themselves crowded round the passageway which led to the Hall. Mihli and Gadalar looked no worse for the wear, but Najelith and Zazarg were both being supported by their soldiers. Rughadjeen was on a medical stretcher, and Jinxie could see him order it to stop, forcing himself upright as Kkel Solaar emerged.

He was carrying Pixel atop his shoulder, and the worn-out little Bard smiled the same gentle, happy smile she always did as the people of Aht Urghan cheered their arrival. Kkel was smiling too, a fierce and exultant grin as he raised one of his curved swords in triumph. Jinxie basked in the good cheer emanating from the crowd. Their missing Serpent General had returned at last. Like a favorite relative returning from a long absence, so was the Sunserpent's arrival in the Empire viewed. People laughed and cried, clapped their hands and whooped greatly. Soldiers flashed their swords in the air and saluted. She watched as he was swallowed up by that throng, turning to clasp hands with his fellow Serpent Generals as they came to him in turn. It was a proud and happy moment. She took the time to close her eyes, her bone-weary legs grateful for the respite.

Then a sudden impact nearly took the wind from her. Jinxie would have stumbled over if not for the arms wrapping around her, squeezing her tightly. She opened her eyes to find a mass of black hair beneath her, and a moment later Isset's face appeared from under it. The Puppetmaster hugged Jinxie tightly, jumping up and down excitedly. Shoki was behind her, wildly flailing his arms, as well as Speed, idly rocking back and forth on his heels.

"Jinxie! You're alive! You really came back! And you saved Kkel! I can't believe it! He's not a monster anymore! We beat the beastmen! Did you see him fighting? He's really back! I'm so happy! Can you - "

"Isset!" Jinxie spoke as loudly as she could manage. "Isset! Let me go! I can't breathe!"

The raven-haired woman released her, blushing. Shoki hid his face in embarassment. Still, her smile remained bright as ever. "You really did it, Jinxie. You have to tell me all about it! What happened after you ran off? How is Kkel back to normal? Who was that man that took Pixel?"

Jinxie waved off her questions. "I'll explain everything later Isset. Right now I feel like I could sleep for a week. I'm happy to see you're alright. And you too, Speed."

"Yeah, I'm good," Speed mumbled. "Really need a smoke though."

"I'll tell you all about the big battle, Jinxie," Isset promised, "and you can tell me what happened with Kkel. Are you going back to the inn?" Jinxie nodded. 'I'll meet you there later." She hugged the blonde woman one more time, then stood waving as Jinxie began trudging towards Whitegate. She would go back to the inn she had been staying at when she first arrived, but she had one stop to make first.

She was almost out of the Ulthalam Parade Grounds when a steel-covered hand caught her by the shoulder. She spun, unsteady on her feet, to face the person taking hold of her, and found herself face-to-face with Razfahd. The Grand Vizier of Aht Urghan looked the same as ever; imperious, condescending, and mean. There was a softening around the edges of his eyes, however, His anger and resentment were gone, though what they had been replaced by, Jinxie couldn't say. Curiousity, perhaps? Wariness? Whatever it was behind his gaze, he spoke to her with a tone that was not even the least insulting. She was surprised to learn he possessed the ability.

"I owe you an apology," he told her, though he had not the least bit of remorse in his voice. "You have done the Empire a great service."

"Razfahd, I'm exhausted," she said bluntly. "Can we do this some other time?"

"I do not often feel pangs of regret at my actions, Bastokan, you would do well to take advantage of the moment while it is still here."

Jinxie sighed, rubbing her fingers against her forehead. She removed her feathered hat, brushing back an errant strand of blonde hair. Taking a deep breath and forcefully opening her eyes, she kept herself from falling over. "Alright, so talk."

The Grand Vizier removed his helmet, staring hard at Jinxie as he cradled it in the crook of his arm. "The events transpiring in your homeland are not disconnected from what has happened here today. I know a great deal about the people involved."

"Why is that?"

"I have been dealing with them in secret for over a year now."

Jinxie was almost surprised, and almost outraged, but found not the strength to support either emotion. "Go on," was all she said.

"Tomorrow, after you have rested, come see me in the palace. I will tell you what I know, and hope that the knowledge aids you in striking back against these serpents."

She nodded, too tired to object. "Why, though?"

"Why am I telling you this now?"

She shook her head. "Why did you work with them?"

Razfahd turned his head, looking out upon the celebrating crowds filling Al Zahbi's streets. His gaze was distant, and he slowly donned his helmet again, not turning to face Jinxie.

"It is a difficult thing, ruling an Empire," he finally replied. "The Empress Nashmeira is still but a child. Inexperienced, and still in mourning over the loss of her parents. Much of the burden falls upon me." His expression had become reflective, and Jinxie would even go so far as to say mournful. "I love this Empire, Bastokan. I would do anything to keep her safe. Everything I do is for the good of its people. I have found, by and large, that my decisions are sound. Sometimes hard, sometimes harsh, but always sound." The sunlight on his armor gleamed, and he stared ahead, assessing the exultant jubilee occuring just in front of them. "But I have found that the occasional misstep is not unheard of. I am put at ease, however, by the knowledge that Al Zahbi has heroes who will keep her safe should my judgment fail." The Grand Vizier's lowered his head now, simply looking forward. He still did not glance at Jinxie. "Come see me tomorrow, in the palace. I must go speak with General Solaar."

Jinxie stood in place for a long moment, watching him disappear into the throng. Perhaps Razfahd was not the kindest man in the world, but she now understood him a little better, or at least she thought she did. She caught herself falling over, and managed to regain her balance just in time. She was so weary. When Kkel had resumed his human form she thought she might lose the strength to keep her heart beating. Now she was strong enough to walk, at least, but she needed to collapse into something sooner rather than later. There was just one thing she had to do first, she told herself, and then she could sleep.

The gate to Whitegate was swung open still, and was flooded with people coming to see if Kkel Solaar had indeed returned. Jinxie stayed close to the walls, swimming against the tide of humanity as she did so. It was heartening to see the people so happy. She cared little about her personal weariness now. The obvious fact was that bringing back Kkel from that dark place he had vanished into was like a miracle for citizens of the Empire. Their smiles of joy comforted her, telling her she had done the right thing. It made the walk much more bearable.

She had finally pressed forward through the gates, passing by the rush heading in the opposite direction, when she saw Pixel in front of her. Jinxie looked back, confused, and then stared questioningly at the Tarutaru. As usual, she was returned a warm smile. The silver-haired Bard waited as Jinxie made her way to her, kneeling down to meet her eyes.

"How did you get here before me?" Jinxie murmured, wondering if dropping to her knees was the wisest choice. "I saw you back there with Kkel."

"Oh, all eyes are on him, it was easy for me to sneak away. And you're moving like molasses, I passed you awhile ago without realizing it. I've been waiting here for you a few minutes now." She laughed, like a silver bell pealing, and Jinxie couldn't help but smile.

"Why were you looking for me?" She had to remind herself she couldn't fall asleep in the middle of the street.

Pixel put her hand under Jinxie's chin, lifting her head and staring her in the eye. "Kkel and I owe you everything, Jinxie. Our freedom from the Emptiness. Saving me from that kidnapper. Rescuing Kkel. It's all because of you."

"I was only - "

Pixel shook her head. "I'll not hear you downplaying your achievements. This kind of story is the stuff Bards dream of." She smiled again, wrapping her tiny fingers around Gjallarhorn and bringing it to her lips. A deep, powerful etude rang out from her instrument, and Jinxie suddenly found the strength make it back to her feet. She felt no less awake, but her balance was steady, and she felt she had enough to keep her legs moving now. The Tarutaru played only a few bars, and then tucked the magnificent relic away once more.

"A lot is going to happen very quickly now," she told Jinxie. "But no matter what the Serpent Generals or Razfahd or even Nashmeira herself say, Kkel and I will stay with you as long as you need us. We're yours to command, Jinxie, come what may."

"Thank you, Pixel," Jinxie replied softly. She dared not risk leaning down to hug the small woman, but Pixel smiled up at her understandingly.

"Where are you going now?" The Bard inquired.

"To see my son," she hoped the ache in her heart did not betray itself in her voice. "I've never been away from him for so long. Before I do anything else I want to hold him in my arms and let him know everything is alright."

"Your son?" Pixel said with some surprise. "You hadn't mentioned."

She nodded. "Just a few months old. He's been in the care of Abquhbuh from Salaheem's Sentinels since I left. He hasn't . . . his father is . . ." she stopped, sniffling a bit, but brushing it off quickly. "I'll tell you all about it, Pixel, I promise. We'll all sit and exchange stories tomorrow while we plan our trip back across the sea."

The Tarutaru's smile was infectious. "Then we will see you and your son tomorrow, Jinxie." She gave a half-amused sigh. "I should get back to the spectacle around Kkel. I hope it's not going to his head."

"You think it will?"

Pixel giggled musically. "Of course not. But it's fun to tease. Take care, Jinxie."

She watched the Bard walk back toward the Al Zahbi portion of the city, and then continued her trek into Whitegate. The office of Salaheem's Sentinels wasn't far off now. As she moved further away from the entrance to Whitegate, the crowd thinned out, and it became easier to move freely. She thought of the stairs which led up to the mercenary headquarters and groaned. So close now, she told herself. She wondered how Naja and Abquhbuh had managed with Drake in her absence. The mercenary taskmistress seemed highly unsuited for the task of babysitting, but her assistant was both kind and attentive. She could have left her son at the palace, but she trusted the blunt and crude Naja Salaheem far more than the scheming Razfahd. Dragging herself up the steps, she finally placed her heels on the overpass which led to their head office.

So tired was Jinxie that she failed to notice the rubble strewn about outside. A series of cracks had appeared in the wall since last she had been here, and bits of brick and stone lay scattered on the walkway. It failed to register as they crunched beneath her boots, and she stopped in front of the thick oaken door which led inside. She noticed it was slightly ajar, and placed a hand upon the heavy door knocker to push it open.

With an extensive creaking noise, it fell from its brass hinges. Dust billowed up at Jinxie's feet as the door boomed to the ground, the surface splintering from the impact. She stood at the now empty portal for a moment in shock. Cautiously, she stepped inside, unsure of what to make of this. Turning down the entrance hall, she stopped immediately, pressing her hands to her mouth in horror.

Two mercenaries were laying in the hallway, their bodies dessicated. The floor was thick with syrupy blood, slowly congealing as it pooled beneath the corpses. A third was pinned to the wall, his feet dangling just off the ground and a cutlass still embedded in his chest. His head hung limply to the side, mouth open and dead eyes staring blankly at Jinxie. She shook her head rapidly, fighting the urge to scream. Terror rapidly filled her as she forced herself to move forward, stepping over the dead men as her heart began beating out of her chest. A cold sweat broke out over her face as she ran down the hall to Abquhbuh's reception room.

She found him lying face-down on the floor. His glasses were a few feet away, crushed into the carpeting, the lenses shattered. A trail of blood marked where he had attempted to crawl towards where he had been injured to the cradle resting in his office. Bloody fingerprints were smeared against the cloth surface. Jinxie was frozen in place. She could not make her legs work. Her exhaustion was forgotten, replaced by stark fear. Her breath came in gasps, and her green eyes would not seem to blink. She could not see inside the cradle from where she stood. She would have to step forward, but could not make herself do it. That was her baby's crib, where he would sleep, peaceful and safe. That was her baby's crib.

Haltingly, driven by impulse more than thought, Jinxie took a step forward. Leaning down, she peered over the edge of Drake's cradle, her lip trembling as her mind raced through what she might find.

For a moment, her heart stopped. The cradle was empty.

She did not know how long she stood staring at it before Abquhbuh moaned beneath her feet. She dropped to her knees, grabbing the secretary by the shoulders and turning him over. There was a gruesome cut across his stomach, and his entire torso was stained red. Jinxie's eyes blazed as she shook him violently, her voice a shrill scream.

"Where is he?" She demanded, "Where is my baby?" Abquhbuh groaned, his eyes flickering only slightly. "Where?" She was shrieking at the unconscious man as hot tears stung her eyes. Panic gripped her gut, clenching tightly and twisting.

"Jinxie," a voice called out to her, and she dropped Abquhbuh, her head snapping up. Naja Salaheem had emerged from her office, crouched down on her knees. She was holding on to her enormous mace simply to stay upright. Her carefully styled hair was undone, loose and matted with blood stemming from a gash just over her right eye. It was closed, blood trickling down over it and dripping from her chin. The mercenary leader's red garment was torn and slashed, her body a mass of bruises. "Jinxie," she repeated, gazing up with her one good eye. "I'm so sorry, Jinxie. They took him."

"Where?" Jinxie demanded again, her voice anguished. "Who took him? Where is my son, Naja?"

The Mithra's head dropped low, her breaths strained. "They took us by surprise, Jinxie. You gotta believe we fought with everythin' we had." She looked up for a moment, and then turned to avoid the helpless devastation in the Red Mage's eyes. "The Lamiae took him, Jinxie," Naja whispered. "The undead swarm has your son."

A heartbroken wail escaped Jinxie's lips as she collapased, tears streaming from her reddened eyes. She didn't know how to get up anymore. She didn't know what to do. She was lost.

It had all been for nothing.

Her baby was gone.